“That’ll do me because of the number of people who might need it. It did me the world of good. It still is. I look forward to coming.”
Those were the opening words of lifelong Blue, Dave Gallagher, who sat down to discuss his experiences at the Etihad Stadium’s Andy’s Man Club.
Dave agreed to share his story as part of World Mental Health Day to help raise awareness amongst other fans.
Founded in Halifax in 2016 to create positive change in men’s mental health, Andy’s Man Club is a suicide prevention charity offering free peer-to-peer support groups for males over the age of 18. The charity supports over 4000 men on average each week, with an all-time high of 5082 achieved this week beginning October 7.
It is that same time every week which many attend at the Etihad Stadium, with the charity highlighting that 402 individual sessions have taken place there over the last six months.
Dave is one of those who found support at Andy’s Man Club and has regularly attended the group at the Etihad Stadium, where he recently shared his story.
Six months earlier, Dave’s wife Barbara had asked a simple question on the evening of Monday 13th May:
“Are you going again?” she said.
“Yeah, I am definitely going again.” Dave replied.
That night, life-long fan Dave joined a group of men who walked through the doors of the Etihad Stadium to attend the first Andy’s Man Club session at Manchester City.
Looking back on his time before Andy’s Man Club, Dave commented:
“I was on the point of taking my own life.”
“Me sister passed away, me uncle passed away, me brother passed away.”
“Everything started to get on top of me but I just kept plodding along and plodding along.”
After this, Dave told his brother that he’d have to take action.
“We were working I just said to him – Karl, I’ve got to go.”
He said, “what to the toilet?”
I said, “no, I’ve got to go and sort me head out.”
He said, “why, what’s wrong with your head?”
But that was just it, as Dave recalled:
“He didn’t know because I’d made this mask and that’s what people do. They make a mask.”
From that moment working with his brother, Dave visited the doctor, and engaged with counselling, before reaching Andy’s Man Club at the encouragement of his family.
“I saw this thing on Granada reports, this thing about Andy’s Man Club.” said Dave.
So, Barbara says, “what about that?”
But, in his own words, Dave “kept putting it off and putting it off.”
Then, one day Barbara said, “Hey!”
“What?” I said.
“Andy’s Man Club” she said.
I said, “oh yeah I know.”
She said, “there’s one opening at City’s ground!”
Barbara had picked up on the announcement that Manchester City would collaborate with Andy’s Man Club to open the first group in East Manchester.
“You gonna go?” she said.
I said, “yeah, when it opens, I’ll give it a shot.”
“And I drove into the car park here and I was sat there. I’m looking at the ground, I think it’s a beautiful ground, I love the ground. Loved Maine Road but this is just something else. Every time I drive past, I get like this feeling of like where we were, where we was and where we are now.”
“Anyway, I was just about to turn me engine on and drive away – and then there was a knock on me window.”
I put the window down and he said, “have you come to Andy’s Man Club?”
I said “er, yeah.”
He said, “come with me brother and he called me brother.”
“Right” I said, and I went “ok then.”
I thought, “ok, he’s caught me, I can’t run away now.”
“And, I walked down to the door. Everybody there greeted me, hugged, me and shook me hand. And I walked in here, the coffee was there, these guys, people chatting, the seats were in a circle.”
At first, Dave thought it wasn’t for him.
“However, I suddenly, just started going on and I didn’t stop. I kept looking around, looking for smirks or you know, judgement. No one was.”
“I got everything off me chest.” said Dave.
“After the session ended, I went home and the wife said to me – “how was it?”
“Eye opening – eye opening. Fantastic.” I said.
In the months since that day, Dave has been attending regularly, joining others at the group who have formed new, meaningful friendships, and found a new support network to help them face challenges in life.
Together, they meet at a guaranteed venue in the Etihad Stadium, which is provided by the Club free of charge for Andy’s Man Club to host its weekly session.
As part of his time at Andy’s Man Club, Dave has also gone on a journey with his club.
Born in Ancoats, Greater Manchester, Dave spent around 30 years as a Season Ticket Member before he found that his mental health made it increasingly difficult to attend matches.
For several years, Dave had continued to follow Manchester City from afar, watching his team on the TV each week. Yet, the idea of returning to a match seemed remote.
However, in recent weeks, Dave felt comfortable enough to attend his first game in several years, joining some fellow Andy’s Man Club attendees who watched Manchester City’s 0-0 draw with Inter Milan.
After the match, Dave said:
“Now, that game I went to (Inter Milan), was the first game I’ve been to in a long while.”
Barbara had said ahead of the game: “How are you going to be with the crowds and stuff like that?”
And I said, “I truly enjoyed it. It just brought back so many memories. I was talking to the lads saying, I started over there, moved over there, we used to go up there, drink there. It was bringing up all these fond memories that I’d forgot all about.”
Reflecting on how attending Andy’s Man Club has affected his life as a fan, Dave said simply:
“If it wasn’t for Andy’s Man Club, I probably would never have gone to another game.”
Concluding the thoughts on his journey at Andy’s Man Club, Dave reflected on his health.
“Before (Andy’s Man Club), I lost me love for everything.” said Dave.
“Now, mainly since I’ve been coming to Andy’s Man Club, people just say, “Dave – you’re a different man.”
“Me wife says, I understand more because you talk to me now. I’ve got used to talking and letting it all go (at Andy’s Man Club).”
“Since coming to Andy’s Man Club, I really talk more to people.”
“There’s a saying ‘to know a man, you need to walk a mile in his shoes.’ It sounds corny but when you’re at Andy’s Man Club, you feel that all these men have walked a mile in your shoes, and you’ve walked a mile in theirs – because you understand exactly when they’re talking about.”
“What you think is unique, your problems, when you listen to everybody else’s problems, some people have less, some people have more, some people have exactly the same, but everybody knows what you’re going through.”
“Nobody judges you; nobody laughs at you; nobody calls you anything.”
When asked what message Dave would share with others who may need support, he simply said:
“Just come, you don’t have to say anything. You just sit there, you listen.”
What is more, he added, “its free and non-judgemental.”
Looking ahead, Dave highlights that Andy’s Man Club is there for men and City fans across the country – whether they need it now or in the future:
“I’m doing this for Andy’s Man Club. If I can get one person through the door, that’ll do me. That’ll do me because of the number of people who might need it.”
When he had finished focusing on others, a core element to his character, Dave returned to summarise his own experience at Andy’s Man Club:
“It did me the world of good. It still is. I look forward to coming.”
For those who may wish to seek support, Andy’s Man Clubs are available every week.
Andy’s Man Club has over 205 groups across the country, with a session only 30 minutes travel or less from over 75% of the 153 Official Supporters Clubs across the United Kingdom. The groups take place every Monday from 19:00 until 21:00, aside from Bank Holiday Mondays.
The sessions are free, with no pre-registering or identification required, and there is no pressure to speak at any session.
To see more on the Club’s collaboration with Andy’s Man Club, watch John Stones and several Manchester City Legends who sat down to learn about the charity.
For fans still uncertain what the men’s peer support groups look like, the Club and charity have created a “Need to Know” as part of their ongoing collaboration.
For more information about Andy’s Man Club, please visit here.
