Well, Aleks Kolarov was none too pleased with club photographer Sharon Latham’s roving camera. “Who is that woman?” he asks the lady from the 1970s Flash adverts. “Why does she follow us around all the time. And why are we allowing hoodies on the flight?” He obviously got out of bed the wrong side...
On arrival at the team hotel in Kyiv, David Silva does what he always likes to do on trips abraod by testing the quality and texture of the lobby carpets. “I’ve had better,” claimed the Spaniard...
With no form of entertainment in the rooms, several players gather in the lobby to watch Les Chapman do his break-dancing routine. Worryingly, this picture also suggests Pablo Zabaleta casts no reflection - could we have a vampire in our midst. Watch tonight’s game to see if he’s afraid of crosses.
A mix-up with baggage means everyone has someebody else’s trainers on. Mario Balotelli flatly refused to give Yaya his shoes back so the Ivorian giant took matters into his own hands.
Finally, the lads round off their session with an amateur dramatics class. “I want four against the wall - in character please,” shouts Ivan Carminati. “Chop, chop! Imagine you’re about to be frisked for missing cutlery or something.”
“What’s my direction?” asks Carlos.
“Make like Rory Delap,” replies Ivan. “Joe, you’re auditioning for a Chicken Tonight advert. And off we go...”
