It never is, of course, because the players are only human. So here are just some of the shots you really weren’t supposed to see ...
Whatever it is that Vinny just said, he’s cracked them up. You’re supposed to set an example, skipper - now somebody’s going to have to whack Joleon on the back, he’s started choking ...
Joe Hart’s in the mood for a song, a grand Italian song, but doesn’t know the proper words. “Just one Cornetto ...” Kiddo’s not impressed. Nor is Mario: “It’s O Sole Mio, Harty.” Joe can’t hear him ...
Is that the worst singing you’ve ever heard? asks Roberto. They’re all agreed, Joe, it wasn’t the best ...
This can’t be right, mutters Sergio. It’s one thing being on the bench for Birmingham ... but for the team photo?! Nige and Samir are loving it. They’ve told him there are too many players to fit the frame, so he’ll be photoshopped in ...
This one nearly works. There are, oh, at least five people actually looking at the camera. Still, good effort, Andy Welsh and Edin Dzeko ...
In the end, there’s only one thing for it. You’ve left her no alternative, lads. RIGHT YOU LOT, sit still, face front, heads up, smiles fixed, and don’t move an inch until I tell you! Crikey. Did it work? Well, scroll back up to the top ...
